IAD Mission Statement · Revised 2026

Our Mission

The Institute for Applied Dignity exists to provide citizens with the tools, language, and occasional cold water they need to recognize dignity-compromising attachment patterns, interrupt them before a paragraph is sent, and recover without losing the friendship or the remaining shreds of their self-narrative.

We believe simping is preventable. We believe it is also understandable. Both of these things are true simultaneously, and holding both is the first step toward institutional wellness.

We do not judge. We document. The distinction is important.

Founding Record · Publication No. IAD-2026-001

History of the Institute

The Institute for Applied Dignity was established in 2026 following an unspecified incident involving a person who had been left on read for eleven days, sent a follow-up, been left on read for three more, and concluded that perhaps they simply hadn't explained themselves thoroughly enough.

They had, in fact, explained themselves thoroughly enough.

The founding staff recognized that no formal framework existed for this category of behavioral event. There were therapists, yes. There were friends who could be called. But there was no institution: no body with the gravitas of official documentation, the comfort of classified behavioral codes, and the specific genre of reassurance that comes from being told "this has a name and others have survived it" in a government-adjacent font.

The Institute was built to fill that gap.

Personnel Directory · Current Roster

Editorial Staff

All Institute publications, assessments, case files, and behavioral classifications are produced by Agency Staff, Institute for Applied Dignity. Individual staff members do not accept public correspondence, keynote invitations, or requests to review your specific situation because they already know.

Role Designation Status
Senior Field Analyst Agency Staff Active
Director of Behavioral Classification Agency Staff Active
Chief Paragraph Prevention Officer Agency Staff Active
Registry Archivist Agency Staff Monitoring a situation

The Institute does not maintain public-facing staff pages. All inquiries are handled by the relevant department. There is only one department.

Institutional Disclosure · Required Reading

What This Is

StopSimping.org is satire. The Institute for Applied Dignity is a fictional government agency. The behavioral classifications, case file codes, field reports, and statistical findings are invented. The National Simp Registry does not actually exist. You are not enrolled in anything.

The underlying observation (that people sometimes compromise their self-respect in pursuit of inconsistent affection, and that this pattern has a name, is survivable, and tends to look a certain way from the outside) is not invented. That part is just true.

The Institute uses a fictional institutional format because sometimes the most useful way to see a real pattern clearly is to look at it from inside a bit. The bureaucratic voice is the bit. The pattern is not.

All statistics on this site are self-reported by Agency Staff and have not been independently verified, because this is a satire website and independent verification of fictional data is not how any of this works.

Correspondence may be directed to Agency Staff at [email protected].

Publication No. IAD-2026-001 · All Dignity Reserved

Built in good faith.
For people in a bad situation.

If any part of this site made you feel less alone in something embarrassing, the Institute considers that a successful intervention.