Public Advisories
Dated field bulletins issued in response to elevated conditions. Each advisory documents a situation. None of them constitutes a plan.
- ELEVATED
Field Advisory: Elevated Simp Risk Throughout Wedding Season
The Institute is raising the Simp Alert Level to ELEVATED for the duration of wedding season. Formalwear, open bars, and the phrase "you clean up nice" are producing field conditions favorable to catastrophic projection.
- ELEVATED
Field Advisory: Festival Season and the Shared-Playlist Event
The Institute is raising the Simp Alert Level to ELEVATED for summer festival season. Shared playlists, group-camping proximity, and a single borrowed item of clothing are producing field conditions favorable to misclassification.
- GUARDED
Field Advisory: The Spring Release, Alert Level GUARDED
As temperatures rise, the Institute lowers the alert to GUARDED and notes the scheduled expiration of cuffing-season arrangements. The party who was warm for the winter is now busy. The party who was in love is now confused.
- ELEVATED
Field Advisory: The Birthday Window and the Reopened Case
The Institute issues a standing advisory regarding the birthday window: the period surrounding a former interest's birthday, during which the social license to say "happy birthday" is misread as a license to reopen a closed case.
- HIGH
Field Advisory: Valentine's Day, Alert Level HIGH
The Institute is raising the Simp Alert Level to HIGH for the week of February 14. A calendar-enforced deadline is driving premature escalation across all regions.
- ELEVATED
Field Advisory: Cuffing Season and the Low-Conviction Pairing
The Institute is raising the Simp Alert Level to ELEVATED for the duration of cuffing season. Falling temperatures and holiday proximity are producing low-conviction pairings that subjects are misfiling as the real thing.